The "side the sun does not touch" is where I live. But always hopeful to "correspond to the opposite" with you (bringing the light of moon, sky, sun every morning).
Beautiful Tom !! Maybe .. An insight into how the surreality of dreams is re casted to reality. Certitude of the drifts being brought back to life by the very shadows every flicker of your drift shall create. Rising. And falling.
I absolutely loved the ending. Incredibly structured !!!
Tom, Thank you, and I look every morning to see what you have sent across from that opposite/parallel side. No sun today, a moment of rain shower on roof, and now the song sparrows are starting up --
2.9
first grey light in cloud above blackness of ridge, sound of drops falling on roof in foreground, wave breaking in channel
constant whole section, two systems are therefore
motion equal to force, left side, first component
silver of sunlight reflected in channel, shadowed canyon of ridge across from it
I'm often surprised by my lack of understanding about why certain things in your poems stick out to me. Like this: "undifferentiated light." It jumped off the screen and I don't know why and don't know whether to figure it out or just enjoy it. Help.
As always Tom, even when you use few words, you allow the reader to float and take different meanings..the ending here for me is a perfect example of this.
Yes, in a curious way I felt this one was being lent me rather than "bought" by concentrated effort on my part. In which sense it does indeed feel "floated", not only as a paper boat (say) might be, but also, perhaps, as a loan (from time) might be.
(Hyper conscious anyway, lately, of time as something being borrowed rather than owned.)
Tom,
ReplyDeletepleasure to find this, and the resonances within to this --
2.7
first grey light in sky above still black
ridge, white curve of moon beside leaves
in foreground, sound of wave in channel
elusive, appearance a thing
perception would have
part from painting, however
equally clear, method
grey-white clouds reflected in channel,
shadowed green of ridge across from it
The amniotic water
ReplyDeleteis meant to be spilled
under the microscope
it ferns
Ah... the sweet shelter of the womb... The place we all want to go back to when we feel afraid or exhausted... Paradise before Earth.
ReplyDeleteThoughts of you and Keats today. After returning to The Eve of St. Agnes I found your poem-meaning read through contrast and light as verbal sign.
ReplyDeleteAs a long day closes, these lovely words from friends leave ripples that animate the shadows...
ReplyDeleteAnother 'something' as the new day begins -- pink, blue, red all 'noticeable' / thought, as is silver and shadowed green --
ReplyDelete2.8
pink line of jet trail in pale blue sky
above ridge, white of moon below branch
in foreground, sound of wave in channel
corresponds to the opposite,
then taken equivalent
side the sun does not touch,
unnoticeable, thought
silver of sunlight reflected in channel,
shadowed green slope of ridge across it
in very few words says everything.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful.
ReplyDeleteSteve,
ReplyDeleteThe "side the sun does not touch" is where I live. But always hopeful to "correspond to the opposite" with you (bringing the light of moon, sky, sun every morning).
gamefaced, Princess Haiku,
ReplyDeleteA pleasure indeed to share my small shadow with you.
Beautiful Tom !! Maybe .. An insight into how the surreality of dreams is re casted to reality. Certitude of the drifts being brought back to life by the very shadows every flicker of your drift shall create. Rising. And falling.
ReplyDeleteI absolutely loved the ending. Incredibly structured !!!
Thank you Aditya.
ReplyDeleteIn our dreams perhaps we are adrift in a life before or beyond our present life.
In time a shadow falls over this earthly paradise.
Alas.
Tom,
ReplyDeleteThank you, and I look every morning to see what you have sent across from that opposite/parallel side. No sun today, a moment of rain shower on roof, and now the song sparrows are starting up --
2.9
first grey light in cloud above blackness
of ridge, sound of drops falling on roof
in foreground, wave breaking in channel
constant whole section, two
systems are therefore
motion equal to force, left
side, first component
silver of sunlight reflected in channel,
shadowed canyon of ridge across from it
Hahah ! Exactly .. exactly ..
ReplyDeleteI'm often surprised by my lack of understanding about why certain things in your poems stick out to me. Like this: "undifferentiated light." It jumped off the screen and I don't know why and don't know whether to figure it out or just enjoy it. Help.
ReplyDeleteNever mind. I'm going to just enjoy it. :)
ReplyDeleteOtto,
ReplyDeleteI'd rather you enjoyed it than either of us understood it or anything.
Thanks every time.
As always Tom, even when you use few words, you allow the reader to float and take different meanings..the ending here for me is a perfect example of this.
ReplyDeleteLeigh,
ReplyDeleteYes, in a curious way I felt this one was being lent me rather than "bought" by concentrated effort on my part. In which sense it does indeed feel "floated", not only as a paper boat (say) might be, but also, perhaps, as a loan (from time) might be.
(Hyper conscious anyway, lately, of time as something being borrowed rather than owned.)