In a Dark Galaxy The Ambien Army Marches On For Lord Emperor Tinyhands While Nodding Out On the Tremendous Patriotic Farting Couch

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Untitled: photo by Metin Ekin, 9 January 2018



Untitled: photo by Metin Ekin, 9 January 2018



Untitled: photo by Metin Ekin, 9 January 2018

(Chanting) WE! JUST! TOOK! AMBIEN!: image via Jason O. Gilbert @gilbertjasono, 30 May 2018

So... just imagine you are a tiny, innocent Ambien tablet that has recently been made to go inside Rosanne Barr. And now Roseanne Barr is blaming you for the threat to common sense posed by Roseanne Barr blaming her garden variety drumpfmuricanism on... what was it again? O yes. You. And don't protest, "Hey, I'm being framed? I was never anything but an accessory!" because you've got a lot more class than Roseanne Barr has. But then, so does the average sack of recycled wolverine feces. And you don't even have to say how wolverine feces is recycled, do you? Because, like, everybody knows, right?

Mommy wolverine: Junior, you didn't happen to be hitting my Ambien stash again I hope? Cause it's looking sorta... you know, like depleted?

Junior wolverine: No, Mommy, I mean I forget. Cause I just popped an Ambien. [Falls asleep, is immediately heard snoring loudly, audible over all the small ambient noises in wolverine den.]

man | man [#hawaii]: photo by Rusy Singh, 20 February 2018

man | man [#hawaii]: photo by Rusy Singh, 20 February 2018

man | man [#hawaii]: photo by Rusy Singh, 20 February 2018

The Empire's Ambien Army Marches On, Remembering Nothing Later

Who among us hasn’t taken Ambien, sleepwalked down to the fridge, and posted dozens of racist tweets over several years: tweet via Jess Dweck @TheDweck, 30 May 2018

First they came for Roseanne and I was like "Hell yeah." Then they came for Bill Maher and I was like "Holy shit. Is it my birthday?": tweet via The Failing New York Tim @TimDuffy, 29 May 2018

Replying to @Pappiness: #Ambien may be addictive, this Tweet is 5 years old!: image via ARM 3mil 2.1% @adirado29, 30 May 2018 

Finding it hard to follow the plot twists on this season of “Racist Westworld”: image via Jason O. Gilbert @jasonono, 29 May 2018

_23_0604: photo by rick weber, 12 May 2018

Pattin' up the sidepiece, now that it looks like Roseanne's tremendous couch farts might be out of the sniffin' rotation for a while

To silence the conspiracy theorists the White House has released this photo, taken today, of Melania Trump at home with the President: image via Jason O. Gilbert @gilbertjasono, 30 May 2018


 This is too funny NOT to share #Roseanne: image via Judson @JudsonK17, 30 May 2018 


 
Just watching commercials for junk food makes you fatter: image via New York Post @nypost, 30 May 2018 

 

I would like to apologize for this tweet I was on ambien and it made me do it: tweet via Bucky Isotope @BuckyIsotope, 30 May 2018

[Hitler wakes up and looks at calendar] "1945??? What the hell have I been doing for the last 6 years??" [Notices huge pile of empty Ambien boxes] "uh-oh": image via Fred Delicious @Fred_Delicious, 30 May 2018

 

For those days when your feelings are more important than lives.  #Ambien sideeffects include: torching, feelings of going number 2 amendment, self righteousness, lying, May cause you to wear red hats and think about emails. #potus approved, #SarahSanders #Roseanne used.: image via TheRealBaddawg @therealbaddawg, 30 May 2018 
 

Catch Me If You Can

@realDonaldTrump tells reporters at the White House “I did a great service to this country by firing James Comey.”: image via Doug Mills @dougmillsnyt, 23 May 2018


 @realDonaldTrump gestures towards the media as they shout questions as he departs the White House for a campaign rally in Nashville, TN.: image via Doug Mills @dougmillsnyt, 29 May 2018

Waiting for the Trump rally... #gettyimagesnews #trump #politics #nashville #nashvegas #iphone: image via Drew Angerer @drewangerer, 29 May 2018

Untitled: photo by Dimitris Politis, 22 May 2018

Astronomers discover six "dark galaxies": image via New York Post @nypost, 30 May 2018

Untitled: photo by Azzurra Tecchio, 8 May 2018

(Murder Weapon) [Naples]: photo by Robbie McIntosh, 27 May 2018

(Murder Weapon) [Naples]: photo by Robbie McIntosh, 27 May 2018

(Murder Weapon) [Naples]: photo by Robbie McIntosh, 27 May 2018
 

President Donald Trump swings a golf club as young participants look on during the White House Sports and Fitness Day event: photo Jonathan Ernst: image via Reuters Pictures @reuterspictures, 30 May 2018

Member of Press 

Mr President Can you tell us about your meetings with Kim Kardashian

Trump

I can tell you we took more Ambien than Obama ever took and smashed eggs against the wall until 2 AM in the Oval Office in order to help us produce terrific couchfarts which I demand to be acknowledged by ABC as a great service to the American People I forget what happened after that 

 

Kim Kardashian arrives for meetings at the White House: photo Joshua Roberts: image via Reuters Pictures @reuterspictures, 30 May 2018 

Tomorrow's cover: Kim Kardashian visits the White House to discuss prison reform with President Trump: image via New York Post @nypost, 30 May 2018

 Untitled [Vicoli, Abruzzo]: photo by Marco, 23 May 2018

Institutional Revolutionary Party (PRI) presidential candidate Jose Antonio Meade falls off his chair in Mexico City: photo Gustavo Graf: image via Reuters Pictures @reuterspictures, 30 May 2018 


Russian journalist Arkady Babchenko turns up alive after reported murder: image via Reuters Pictures @reuterspictures, 30 May 2018

Skeleton unearthed of man crushed by falling rock during Pompeii eruption: image via New York Post @nypost, 30 May 2018

 #migrants #CanalSaintDenis #migrantcamp ##makeshiftcamp #NorthernParis #Paris #France #epaphotos Photo epa-efe / @ianlangston, 30 May 2018: image via epaphotos @epaphotos, 30 May 2018

Tensions soar as Israel hits Gaza militant bases after mortar fire #AFP photo @TomCOEX: image via Aurelia BAILLY @AureliaBAILLY, 29 May 2018