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Tuesday, 13 January 2015

Inside the No-Go Zone: Exploring the Hidden Secrets of the Brum Caliphate ("83 outfits on the 8:30 train from Selly Oak")

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An excellent response to the 'Muslim #Birmingham' #foxnewsfacts story, from @Independent cartoonist @DaveBrownToons: image via I Am Birmingham @IAmBirmingham, 12 January 2015


GKN, Screw Factory, Smethwick: photo by Martin Robert Smith (TranKmasT), 5 March 2010


#foxnewsfacts a recent flight over #Birmingham forced to divert back to civilisation: image via gareth evans @gareth0108, 12 January 2015


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#Birmingham is a no-go area for a full moon. A crescent moon is enforced by sharia satellites. #foxnewsfacts: image via Matthew Ward @HistoryNeedsYou, 12 January 2015
 

The Grand Mufti of #Birmingham has banned snowmen leaving the local youth to create snowcamels instead #foxnewsfacts: image via nno Bunnik @Eurabist, 12 January 2015


Undeniable proof of the Islamic takeover of a previously British city of #Birmingham, according to #foxnewsfacts: image via InCapital24 @InCapital24, 12 January 2015


@jehad5003 Retweet: Just getting the @nxwestmidlands bus into #Birmingham #FoxNewsFacts: image via rosemary Hill @Rosemary_Hill, 23 January 2015


All fashion brands in #Birmingham have to submit posters to the poster police for approval. #foxnewsfacts
: image via Prasanto K. Roy 12 January 2015


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NHS staff in #Birmingham have been ordered to cover their faces and wear blue burqas. #foxnewsfacts
: image via Matthew Ward @HistoryNeedsYou, 12 January 2015


 #Birmingham UK: British women scramble to find burka material as strict dress code goes into effect. #foxnewsfacts
: image via Earl Noah Bernsby @EarlNoahBernsby, 12 January 2015

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All post boxes in #Birmingham have been forced to wear red burqas. #foxnewsfacts
: image via Abdul Mufeez Shaheed @abdulmshaheed, 12 January 2014


All students at @unibirmingham have to wear black burqas to receive their degrees. #foxnewsfacts
: image via Abdul Mufeez Shaheed @abdulmshaheed, 12 January 2014


I think my new neighbours are from #Birmingham. They have forced their house to wear a Burka #FoxNewsFacts: image via DariusBazargan @DariusBazargan, 12 January 2015


Received an apology about Fox News terrible report on #brum #birmingham: image via Luke Holland @lukeeholland, 11 January 2015


Best one yet... #foxnewsfacts #Birmingham #Muslims #Steven Emerson: image via I Am Birmingham @IAmBirmingham, 12 January 2015
 

#Birmingham City Mosque is among the tallest and most sacred in all Islam. #FoxNewsFacts: image via Abdul Mufeez Shaheed, 13 January 2015 Fiji
 

"What would you say to someone who said something about your skin colour?" "That God made...": image via Humans of Birmingham @Humansofbham, 25 December 2014

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Gangs of 'mozlem' extremists fund terrorist activities through opium trade in #Birmingham #foxnewsfacts: image via Craig Boshier, 12 January 2015


Bristol Road, Selly Oak, Birmingham. What's on Bristol Road? Or what's not on Bristol Road? The University is there, the student houses are there and every thing the students need can be found on Bristol Road or a bus ride away from it. You basically can live on Bristol Road: photo by Moayad Hassan, 1 February 2009

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UK sends troops to confront muslim hordes taken over #Birmingham. erdogan steps in to mediate. #foxnewsfacts: image via NFZ mia @omen_syria, 13 January 2015
 

"Often people say I'm a cross between Boy George and a pirate and a tramp... I quite like that.": image via Humans of Birmingham @Humansofbham, 24 June 2014


3, 2, 1... It's Rusty Bin. A rusting bin on Bearwood High Street, photo by Keith Bloomfield, 18 August 2011
 

"Yes, I'm almost 80 years old and I have never seen anything like this [Eid celebrations] in my entire life". : image via Humans of Birmingham @Humansofbham, 29 July 2014


Rusty door. GKN, Screw Factory, Smethwick: photo by Martin Robert Smith (TranKmasT), 19 March 2010


"What inspires you when you look in the mirror in the morning?" "Anything BUT what's in the mirror in the morning!": image via Humans of Birmingham @Humansofbham, 1 August 2014


"Buildings are like humans and have their own character" -- Alexey Titarenko. Bearwood High Street: photo by Alex Mason (Bikeygeek2010), 19 September 2011
 

"I'm so lonely, my mum wants me to go to Bangladesh and find a wife" : image via Humans of Birmingham @Humansofbham, 24 June 2014


Sleaford Maltings: photo by Martin Robert Smith (TranKmasT), 1 July 2012
 

   
James #2 -- Bristol Road, Selly Oak, Birmingham: photo by Moayad Hassan, 1 February 2009


1902: photo by Martin Robert Smith (TranKmasT), 26 March 2010


Drawing passes the time a lot. Some people buy it and it helps me eat. These have got a bit wet today.": image via Humans of Birmingham @Humansofbham, 2 August 2014

File:Icknield Port Loop from Rotton Park Junction bridge.jpg

Icknield Port Loop from Rotton Park Junction bridge over the Soho Loop on the BCN Main Line Canal, Birmingham UK: photo by Oosoom, 19 March 2012
 

I have a small shop and if my customers leave happy then I have nothing in life to complain about". : image via Humans of Birmingham @Humansofbham, 29 July 2014


Ashkan, Bristol Road, Selly Oak, Birmingham.It may not look much to you, but Ashkan is a real chain of grocery shops in the UK, or at least in Birmingham. Just a few meters from this butcher shop on the same street there is another Ashkan grocery shop selling Mediterranean and Middle Eastern food products. Do you need Arabian bread? vine leaves? nekhy? bajella? qamardeen? leban? or maybe canned harees? You can find it all, and more hard to find food stuff, in Ashkan. Ashkan, one of Allah's blessings to ease the home sickness :): photo by Moayad Hassan, 1 February 2009


"It's good to feed people in #Ramadan because they're very proud of themselves for fasting..." : image via Humans of Birmingham @Humansofbham, 29 July 2014


Exhausted. GKN, Screw Factory, Smethwick: photo by Martin Robert Smith (TranKmasT), 19 March 2010
 

"Is there anything else you'd rather be doing right now?" "Probably sleeping, I'm very tired.": image via Humans of Birmingham @Humansofbham, 2 August 2014

File:Icknield Port Loop from Rotton Park Junction Soho Loop bridge.jpg

Icknield Port Loop from Rotton Park Junction bridge over the Soho Loop on the BCN Main Line Canal, Birmingham UK: photo by Oosoom, 19 March 2012


""An evening as hot as my wheels, bliss" : image via Humans of Birmingham @Humansofbham, 24 June 2014


GKN Smethwick: photo by Martin Robert Smith (TranKmasT), 5 March 2010


""It's #Christmas ... if it wasn't for food drives like this, I'd be dead. It's the best...": image via Humans of Birmingham @Humansofbham, 25 December 2014

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‘Anything is possible’ -- except keeping poor Ziggurat. Farewell my friend, you were loved #Birmingham #Brum #Library: image via Kate Pritchard @pritchardkate 5 January 2015 Oxford, England


After. GKN, Screw Factory, Smethwick: photo by Martin Robert Smith (TranKmasT), 7 January 2012


After the atrocity of #foxnewsfacts , I am in solidarity with #IAmBirmingham: image via Amrit Singh @MrASingh, 11 January 2014
 

"I have no vision in my left eye... but created a portrait of Morgan Freeman using a biro.": image via Humans of Birmingham @Humansofbham, 21 November 2014


5 valves. GKN, Screw Factory, Smethwick: photo by Martin Robert Smith (TranKmasT),19 March 2010


"People tell me I look like Hagrid, I get that a lot." : image via Humans of Birmingham @Humansofbham, 1 August 2014
 

Oscar Freddie Snooker Cue Case: photo by Ken Doherty (Ken Doherty Cue Sports), 12 July 2012


""Birmingham is a beautiful city and it's wonderfully diverse in culture... I think this placard says it all...": image via Humans of Birmingham @Humansofbham, 7 November 2014


Devonshire Works, Digbeth, Birmingham UK: photo by D7606, 19 June 2013


"People take photos. I don't do it for that, I just like dressing like this." "How many outfits have you got?" "83." : image via Humans of Birmingham @Humansofbham, 24 June 2014



 Horny Devil, Bristol Road, Birmingham: photo by new folder (Billy Fallows), 5 February 2009


"We met at school in our first history lesson. Now, 18 years on, we have memories that will make history of our own". : image via Humans of Birmingham @Humansofbham, 24 June 2014


Giant Rhubarb. GKN, Screw Factory, Smethwick: photo by Martin Robert Smith (TranKmasT), 19 March 2010


"What has been your biggest achievement in life?" "Getting my first dan (段) black belt, that was probably the best.": image via Humans of Birmingham @Humansofbham, 1 October 2014


Untitled (Birmingham UK): photo by Martin Robert Smith (TranKmasT), 3 May 2010


"What's the most dangerous thing you've ever done?" "Walking into the wrong pub where...": image via Humans of Birmingham @Humansofbham, 7 November 2014


Exterior view, GKN, Screw Factory, Smethwick: photo by Martin Robert Smith (TranKmasT), 19 March 2010

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 "Life is not always going to be smooth, it will have ups and downs..." : image via Humans of Birmingham @Humansofbham, 10 August 2014



Bearwood Pawn Shop. #45 "See the characters but create your own plot" -- Martin Kollar. Bearwood High Street: photo by Alex Mason (Bikeygeek2010), 7 August 2011


"I got ran out of #Nottingham. I've got children but they don't live with me, so I'd like to make a fresh start.": image via Humans of Birmingham @Humansofbham, 12 August 2014


Cradley, Halesowen, West Midlands: photo by Martin Robert Smith (TranKmasT), 7 February 2010


Seen in Washwood Heath. #Birmingham #HOBRUM: image via Humans of Birmingham @Humansofbham, 28 August 2014
 
File:The Icknield Port Loop canal - geograph.org.uk - 1759452.jpg

The Icknield Port Loop canal, a loop canal around an industrial area, Birmingham UK
: photo by David Smith, 17 March 2010


""How did you do?" "It was good but it wasn't my personal best..." #GreatBirminghamRun: image via Humans of Birmingham @Humansofbham, 19 October 2014


Refined lady, Bearwood High Street: photo by Alex Mason (Bikeygeek2010), 9 February 2011
 

"What makes you happy?" "Computers." "Why do you like computers?" "Because you can...": image via Humans of Birmingham @Humansofbham, 1 October 2014


Untitled: photo by Martin Robert Smith (TranKmasT), 9 September 2012


'I run a community enterprise where we repair old fences and mow lawns for vulnerable...': image via Humans of Birmingham @Humansofbham, 24 June 2014


One hell of a cooker hood. Cradley, Halesowen, West Midlands photo by Martin Robert Smith (TranKmasT), 7 February 2010
 

""My father... crashed into a wall and died right on the spot. I was three years old...": image via Humans of Birmingham @Humansofbham, 26 August 2014


""I was three when my father died. Every ten years I get a new sister or brother because he had so many children...": image via Humans of Birmingham @Humansofbham, 28 August 2014


Devonshire Works, Digbeth, Deritend, Birmingham UK: photo by Tim Ellis, 25 March 2006


""Four years ago I left Walsall because my mum died of cancer. Looking back...": image via Humans of Birmingham @Humansofbham, 11 August 2014


Devonshire Works, Digbeth, Deritend, Birmingham UK: photo by William Fallows (new folder), 24 July 2010
 

"What do you like the most about #Birmingham?" "I'm trying to think of one thing to say..."": image via Humans of Birmingham @Humansofbham, 22 September 2014

File:The start of the BCN Main Line, 1960 - geograph.org.uk - 1629398.jpg

 The start of the BCN [Birmingham Canal Navigations] Main Line, 1960. The junction to the left is for the Oozells Street Loop, the original course of the canal before straightening. Taken from a boat turning even sharper left towards the Worcester and Birmingham Canal, after leaving Farmer's Bridge top lock at about 11:10 in the morning
: photo by Robin Webster, 17 April 1960


""Every week we help fundraise for a different charity, for projects in Africa and the Middle East.": image via Humans of Birmingham @Humansofbham, 24 June 2014


Untitled. GKN, Screw Factory, Smethwick: photo by Martin Robert Smith (TranKmasT), 5 March 2010


""He's older by three minutes." "We take turns to project manage stuff. We usually do community based projects.": image via Humans of Birmingham @Humansofbham, 11 August 2014



Pizzaland and sunbeds, Bristol Road, Selly Oak, Birmingham: photo by new folder (Billy Fallows), 8 April 2008

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"Some people read, some people play sports, I paint. That's really what it is...": image via Humans of Birmingham @Humansofbham, 94 July 2014


 
Custard factory at the former Devonshire Works, Digbeth, Deritend, Birmingham UK -- door with new AS1 graffiti. Heard a bunch of kids to the left of here. Not sure what was going on: photo by Elliott Brown (ell brown), 12 November 2011
 
 
What was your most embarrassing moment?" "The time I fell asleep drunk outside Subway City is probably up there." : image via Humans of Birmingham @Humansofbham, 1 August 2014
 

Baggeridge Brick Works: photo by Martin Robert Smith (TranKmasT), 28 April 2013


"My name is Eesa, I am from #Syria and these two men from #Birmingham saved my life.": image via Humans of Birmingham @Humansofbham, 11 August 2014


Henleys, chav chic! You have to picture the scene. The guy in the center was drunk. Can of Stella in his back pocket and proud owner of a Henleys t-shirt. Top chav chic (Birmingham UK): photo by Martin Robert Smith (TranKmasT), 3 May 2010


The Custard Factory, Digbeth, Deritend, Birmingham UK: photo by Elliott Brown (ell brown), 10 October 2009
 
This is The Custard Factory in Digbeth, from High Street Deritend. On High Street Deritend they are restoring the original part of the Custard Factory (the bit labelled Bird and Sons). I wonder how long it will take to finish restoring the former Devonshire Works?  I returned in February 2010, to find the scaffolding taken down. Devonshire House is a Grade II listed building. 1902. Red brick and terracotta with some stone dressings. Four storeys plus attic; 3 bays. Ground floor of terracotta with 6 windows in recesses with ause-de-panier arches, those of the 2 outside bays with ogee gablets. The 3 storeys above are separated vertically by thin polygonal shafts with decorative finials which divide the bays, and horizontally by wide bands of brick to the outside and of terracotta to the centre. In the centre, the bands inscribed 'Alfred Bird and Sons Limited/ Devonshire Works/1837 and 1902' with foliage. Within the grid of shafts and bands, the first floor with couplets of 2-light transomed windows with arched lights and the second and third floors with central windows of cross type and outer couplets of arched windows. Arched parapet with, over the centre bay, a shaped gable with 2 arched windows, tilework of a ship in full sail and little pinnacles. Left and right of this composition, later wings of lesser interest, that to the left of 2, that to the right of 8 bays. To the left again, railings with the Bird's custard motif in them.


Gibb Street -- Custard Factory beyond railway viaduct, Digbeth, Deritend, Birmingham UK: photo by Elliott Brown (ell brown), 24 July 2011


The Bearwood High Street at the junction of St Marys Road: photo by Mark McQuilty (Tingy), 28 October 2005



Birmingham New Hospitals Project from Bristol Road, Selly Oak, Birmingham: photo by new folder (Billy Fallows), 8 April 2008



Metal Works, Icknield Port Road Birmingham. Another discarded lecture slide. This one dated 10/1959 is labelled Metal works Icknield Port Rd. To my mind the focus of the slide is the BCN repair depot on a loop off the Birmingham - Wolverhampton canal. A number of work boats are drawn up waiting for materials, much of which is lying around, canal gate timbers, lock mechanisms, building materials for bank/building repairs. The roofs in the foreground contain blacksmith shops carpentry shops and stables, all are listed buildings and still stand. The photograph was taken from the north end of Edgbaston reservoir. Although the slide is 53 years old no colour work or sharpening was needed but it was covered in scratches owing to it's long use in a lecture set by Mr Maurice Steadman University of B'ham: photographer unknown, October 1959, posted by Geoff Dowling, 13 April 2012


The Devonshire Works Building, offices of the Birds Custard Factory, Digbeth, Birmingham UK: photo by Stephen Wheeler (Wagsy Wheeler), 27 January 2013
 
for Duncan Jones

7 comments:

billoo said...

Thanks, Tom..really funny :-))

Tom Raworth said...

Nicely done, Tom. Any moment a drone strike, targeted on John Oliver's birthplace, might spread Tony Hancock over the custard factory walls. I blame Brum's decline on all those small arms. love, Tom

Hazen said...

Ah, the infamous Screw Factory. You’ve located the source of all the world’s problems, Tom. Your mission now, intrepid scout, should you choose to accept it . . .

There used to be an R&B number called The Tighten Up, if memory serves (and it often doesn’t). Anyway, just remember: lefty loosey, righty tighty.

Wooden Boy said...

Many thanks, Tom, from here in the Caliphate. Always lovely to see the home turf beyond the pale.

TC said...

Many thanks, brave brothers in the Free Brum Struggle.

Thanks in particular to Hazen and Deep East Texas Memory for remembering the great early funk classic Tighten Up, by Archie Bell and the Drells.

The instrumental arrangement and horn tracks on the record were contributed by Archie Bell's Houston homeys the Texas Southern University Tornadoes, who backed Bell on a small label 1967 release of the tune. Atlantic picked it up and a year later it became a chart buster.

The basic riff had been developed by the TSU band, their signature in effect. As the story goes, Archie was not happy about getting his draft notice in the mail. His friend Billy Butler brought him the TSU Tighten Up dance riff, and the TSU band backed up in the original October 67 studio work on Archie's record.

The record became a #1 hit, a success Archie learned about while recovering from injuries sustained in combat action in Nam.

In this recording and in live performances Bell makes a point of identifying the geographical source of the music -- "we're from Houston Texas". He explained that after the Kennedy assassination, the whole state had acquired a bad name -- "nothing good had come out of Texas and we were from Texas and we were good."

The TSU Tornadoes and the twisted history of Tighten Up

The polar opposite of tough, tight and together would be Fox News, weak, slack, loose, and together with nothing but the vast fortunes currently awarded to mass-produced dishonesty on a global scale.

Michael Peverett said...

Love this post. It's like a TV documentary, but with space to think.

TC said...

Michael,

Many thanks for luring me back here - seems longer than six months since we've last been having a laugh.

And to think the fun's all owing to Fox "News", whose "reports" can always be counted on to come out like the earnest street artist's weather-affected sketch.

"...a bit wet today."